Wishing you all the warmth that good memories bring...
Wisdom and grace to accept everything else in between...
Hope and cheer for what our future brings...
And a happy, contented heart and working hands to enjoy life worth living...

(opang, helen, princess - 23 december 2006)

let love rain...

as i lie here looking at the sky
im wondering why the world is still at war.

as i look out and marvel at the moon,
i wish that very soon we'd realize who we are.

we're all the same one under one warming sun,
with a single life to live -
there's no battle to be won.

we dont have a lot of time.
our hour is soon over

let's make a difference while we're here
let us cry with happy tears

just love life and live it well
let our love out, let it swell

mothers, daughters, fathers, sons -
let love rain on everyone

let love rain, let love rain
let it rain on everyone
let it rain on everyone
let it rain


- holiday rock ballad
blue mountain, december 2006

surprise...

bag of beans...

nix, doesnt fail to surprise me. it seems she has all the time to go around and find these nice little places... spaces...

just like this one in the deepest night of Tagaytay...

for that, let's drink chocolat!

Let me sleep
For when I sleep
I dream that you are here
You’re mine
And all my fears are left behind
I float on air
The nightingale sings gentle lullabys
So let me close my eyes

And sleep
Per chance to dream
So I can see the face I long to touch
To kiss
But only dreams can bring me this
So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me

I’ll hide beneath the clouds
And whisper to the evening stars
They tell me love is just a dream away
Dream away
I’ll dream away

So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me...


- i heard this song a few years ago, not knowing the title, artist or the album (where it came from) i just said, its beautiful - dreamy though.

but now i am a declared day dreamer, i searched for it - i found it...

Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held a standstill in mid-seas. For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.

- Kahlil Gibran

When you've reached the goal

you've chosen for yourself,

set your sights on an even higher objective.

And keep going.

When things have not worked out

the way you planned,

learn the valuable lessons

that the experience has to offer.

And keep going.

The key to meaningful achievement

is not in how clever you are

or how lucky you are

or in how much advantage you can gain over others.

The key is to keep going.

When other people give you encouragement,

insight and assistance,

thank them for their help while offering

your own special value in return.

And keep going.

When others seek to block your every effort,

raise yourself up to where you can clearly see

beyond their petty, shortsighted attempts.

And keep going.

Whatever may come or go

or happen or fail to happen,

there is always a way,

some way or another, to keep going.

You will get wherever you wish to go

when you consistently choose,

in each moment, to simply, thankfully

and gracefully keep going.

-- Ralph Marston

in life we dont need someone who'll love us so much and will give us the world. but instead, we need someone who'll be there and never leave us no matter what happens...

do you agree?

love your work

if you don't like your work,
you'll need three times the energy:
to force yourself to work,
to resist the force,
and finally to work.

if you love your work,
your desire to do it
will be like a wind
to propel your ship
with much less fuel.

if you like your work,
you work no more -
for work, when you like it,
is work no longer,
but sheer enjoyment!

if you enjoy your work,
you'll work and work
without counting the hours -
and you'll reap and enjoy
more earnings as well.

- H.L. Neri

i was early in the office of the Deputy Minister of Education (waiting for a meeting) and I saw this somewhat old poster in a glass frame... it hit me... because this has been always my principle...

i decided... that i want to try other things... i told Shaman that perhaps i reached the breakeven point...

but after UNESCO i should look for something... that i love...

then i dedicate myself to it... i sometimes think its gonna be difficult...

life is like this... there are crossroads...

and i have to go through these...

here i go again...

after a year, the feeling is here again
oh, i wish i can explain...
but i can't

even the turtle is luckier...
he chose this song
saying this is what he feels...



Crystal Ball

Who is the man I see where I'm supposed to be?
I lost my heart, I buried it too deep under the iron sea.

Oh, crystal ball, crystal ball,
Save us all, tell me life is beautiful,
Mirror, mirror on the wall.

Lines ever more unclear,
I'm not sure I'm even here,
The more I look the more I think
that I'm starting to disappear.

Oh, crystal ball, crystal ball,
Save us all, tell me life is beautiful,
Mirror, mirror on the wall.

Oh, crystal ball, hear my song,
I'm fading out, everything I know is wrong,
So put me where I belong.

I don't know where I am,
and I don't really care,
I look myself in the eye,
there's no one there.

I fall upon the earth,
I call upon the air,
but all I get is the same old vacant stare.

Oh, crystal ball, crystal ball,
Save us all, tell me life is beautiful,
Mirror, mirror on the wall.

Oh, crystal ball, hear my song,
I'm fading out, everything I know is wrong,
So put me where I belong.

a year ago... in Torino...

i miss torino and the friends i made there...

i miss 6071...

i miss the restaurant and the bar...

i miss the chinese restaurant in Via Genova...

i miss KEBAB... (or KEBAP as my indigo puts it)

i miss my Phuong...

i miss my crazy gang (Cyprus, Bolivia, Brazil and Mozambique) ...

i miss the class where i sat with my Goddess and my Shaman...

i miss the vietnamese mafia...

i miss my Mr. Tung...

i miss maya sistra from Kyrgyztan...

i miss hardworker Baig and kindest soul of Seychelles...

and i miss the mad... sleepless Gora too!

oh, well...

i miss the tram rides, the bus rides,

and crossing over the Po River...

today, my birthday, i miss

a year ago, i miss...

every once in a while people step up
they rise above themselves
sometimes they surprise you
and sometimes they fall short

life is funny
and sometimes it can push pretty hard
but if you look close enough
you find hope...

in the words of children...
in the bars of a song...
and in the eyes of someone you love...

and it you' re lucky - -
i mean, if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet --

the person you love decides to love you back.


- ONE TREE HILL

life is a gift and we should cherish it. we live only once and therefore we should make the most out of it. we are what we are meant to be. if there's one thing i learned after everything it's that i dont hold the future but i know myself and i can choose how i will adopt to what destiny has in store for me.

in God's grace things will fall into place.

TTS

tears to sky
homogenized to clouds
to touch two turtles
and a shaman

tears to sky
reach to clouds
to see if 3 pairs of eyes
are still there

tears to the sky
clean up the grey
to let blue paint the world
for purple, green and yellow

tears to the sky
see the space
to write a poem
with shinest stars
for 4 of us.


- indigo, a few minutes ago

"...there could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison, no countenances so beloved. Now they were as strangers; nay, worse than strangers, for they could never become acquainted."............................

-from Persuasion (Jane Austen), Chapter 8

frameless picture...

again a poetic line from GORA...

sleepless nights in Torino
look at the room
and there he is
endless...
tireless...

i remember another line... a year ago
grave of the lost souls

donald peters, the naughty don... who cooked SINILAGANG!

the american who speaks my language - even chatting with me in Filipino/Tagalog!

with all the e-mails he sent me the last ten months... its only now im beginning to realize how amusing he is...

he claims he liked me, the moment he saw my picture on the bus with Emilia, Oliverka and Marcelle, going to Questura (in Turin).

he promises to do the following when he comes here... (i wonder when rach? hehe...)

1. magsisibak ng kahoy
2. harana
3. mag-iigib ng tubig
4. samahan ako mamalengke
5. etc.


told him, these are the olden days. but what the heck? its funny and sweet...

and i enjoyed chat sessions with him lately...

yes, its almost a year... and now he's a friend...

music, car and the turtle

its taken from the car... going down from city at 2800 mts over the sea level towards 500 mts level so literally when you descend by the "highway" yo pass trough the clouds SILVERLINING THE CLOUDS

(direct quote from the turtle)


REM Song


first, we take manhatan, then we take Berlin

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom
For trying to change the system from within
I’m coming now I’m coming to reward them
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

I’m guided by a signal in the heavens
I’m guided by this birthmark on my skin
I’m guided by the beauty of our weapons
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

I’d really like to live beside you, baby
I love your body and your spirit and your clothes
But you see that line there moving through the station
I told you I told you I told you I was one of those

You loved me as a loser but now your worried that I just might win
You know the way to stop me but you don’t have the discipline
How many nights I prayed for this: to let my work begin
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

I don’t like your fashion business, mister
I don’t like these drugs that keep you thin
I don’t like what happened to your sister
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

And I thank you for those items that you sent me
The monkey and the plywood violin
I practiced every night and now I’m ready
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

Remember me, I used to live for music
Remember me, I brought your groceries in
It’s Father’s Day and everybody’s wounded
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

daydreamer

October Zodiac (from a Friend)

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all!

My legendary roommate at 6071 - Phuong - always tells me that I am a daydreamer. What surprises me is that whenever I read some zodiac or something like it, the word DAYDREAMER comes up.

Is Phuong a fortune teller? A female Shaman? A personality Guru?

Whatever, I cant help but smile when I remember her... her stories... and her massage.

I love my Phuong... unique as she is... I love her, indeed!

an old love song...

you're the one that never lets me sleep
to my mind,
down to my soul
you touch my lips

you're the one that i can't wait to see
with you here by my side i'm in ecstasy

i am all alone without you
my days are dark without a glimpse of you
but now that you came into my life
i feel complete
the flowers bloom, my morning shines
and i can see

your love is like the sun
that lights up my whole world
i feel the warmth inside
your love is like the river
that flows down through my veins
i feel the chill inside


- by ALAMID

today, i was riding while riding the jeepney, i heard the song playin' and suddenly i had flashes of my former BF - very funny man with a secret serious side...

its amazin to know such a person and more than ever, i know that i was not wrong in believing that he is a good man.

my shaman, my vampire, my one true-hidden love...

ainda lembro o que paso!

"Sometimes I would think that good things get lost for many reasons. It makes us appreciate goodness, to recognize our need for improvement, to remind us that when we start feeling comfortable of what we have He gives us a nudge and tells us there is more to life left unattained, that the word permanent would not even exist if there were no such things as temporary. It makes us treasure people and things more. It also makes us realize that these things of the world can never go beyond their very purpose. We have to live each and every single one of them at the very moment of their conception. There's really no saving them for future references.

Carpe diem. Past is nothing more but a reference point after checking your destination in the future as you move along in the present moment. We are bounded to move on. In status viae."


- from cora from reynor

on turtle's wings i fly

searching

curious like an indigo child

learning

striving

like a shaman

vast oceans to sail

universe wide to spread

these wings

spanning greater

the peakest of mountains

climbing high up

indeed, its a wonder

despite, here in my nest

safe and sound


i'd like to fly...

and i'll never take my eyes off the sky!

" No man was ever yet a great poet, without being at the same time a profound philosopher. For poetry is the blossom and the fragrance of all human knowledge,human thoughts, human passions, emotions, language. "

- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

grazie mille to
the turtle, the shaman and the indigo
and the stimulation of life
and life's ironies

i rediscovered
the magic of telling
by lines and verses...

i wish i can call myself
a poet someday...

for now, i continue
my scribbles...

A Tranquil Night

Before my bed a pool of light -
Can it be hoarfrost on the ground?
Looking up, I find the moon bright;
Bowing, in homesickness I'm drowned.


In the Quiet Night

So bright a gleam on the foot of my bed –
Could there have been a frost already?
Lifting myself to look, I found that it was moonlight.
Sinking back again, I thought suddenly of home.


- LI BAI or LI PO



Spring Morning

This spring morning in bed I'm lying,
Not to awake till birds are crying.
After one night of wind and showers,
How many are the fallen flowers?


A Spring Morning

I awake light-hearted this morning of spring,
Everywhere round me the singing of birds –
But now I remember the night, the storm,
And I wonder how many blossoms were broken.


- MENG HAORAN

both from the TANG DYNASTY
(courtesy of HanMei, my friend from Hubei)

passing... by Alfonso Calero

blessings...

"The purpose of life is not to win...but to grow and to share. When you come to look back on all that you've done in life, you will get more satisfaction from the pleasure you have brought into other peoples' lives than you will from the times that you outdid them and defeated them."


when i was just a little girl, all i know is that i want to do my small contribution... but along the way, i learned that its not so easy to do even that. many obstacles, many trials. the world can be cold and even numbing. but in my heart, i know the truth.

whatever little thing i know, i want to share. whatever little thing i have, i'd like to give to people who may not have the same colorful, gracious life that i experience.

i just thank the Lord that somehow he allowed me to have these blessings and opened my eyes and heart big enough to appreciate them... hence, i can give...

" There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard we try. They would never stop loving. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some love that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never let go. Somebody who cherishes you forever."

- Ally McBeal

beautiful in its hurting... haunting...

JESUS to a CHILD

Kindness in your eyes
I guess you heard me cry
You smiled at me
Like Jesus to a child

I'm blessed, I know
Heaven sent and heaven stole
You smiled at me
Like Jesus to a child

And what have I learned
From all this pain?
I thought I'd never feel the same
About anyone
Or anything again

But now I know
When you find love
When you know that it exists
Then the lover that you miss
Will come to you
On those cold, cold nights

When you've been loved
When you know it holds such bliss
Then the lover that you kissed
Will comfort you
When there's no hope in sight

Sadness in your eyes
No one guessed, or no one tried
You smiled at me
Like Jesus to a child

Loveless and cold
With your last breath you saved my soul
You smiled at me
Like Jesus to a child

And what have I learned
From all these tears
I've waited for you all those years
And just when it began
He took your love away
But I still say

When you find love
When you know that it exists
Then the lover that you miss
Will come to you
On those cold, cold nights

When you've been loved
When you know it holds such bliss
Then the lover that you kissed
Will comfort you
When there's no hope in sight

So the words you could not say
I'll sing them for you
And the love we would have made
I'll make it for two
For every single memory
Has become a part of me

You will always be
My love

Well, I've been loved
So I know just what love is
And the lover that I kissed
Is always by my side

Oh the lover I still miss
Was Jesus to a child

one day
i was walking
along the streets of Chuncheon (korea - 2 hours from Seoul)

i had a sighting
and che is there
waiting

alas i found him
and im reminded

of our turtling...

hehe...

who design the rivers ?

I took this picture some weks ago, somewhere over our magic lands of Amazonia. I wonder then, who design the rivers?, why those shapes?, is it the pattern of life ?, from point A to B, curves, deltas, oneway, anyway.
I wonder also, which river Cliff took?, where is sailing Helen?, is Fatosh diving under the water?, is Eduardao fishing or swiming by?. If I just would have a parashut... to join them, again.

Gonchi, Cochabamba, cold winter night, silverlining memories. (watch out the missils Korea!)

princess knight

princess knight

funny but this post has no text or whatever. i guess this must be the day that i coined this pen name. my habibis (quatros amigos) call me princess and i often like to think of myself as a defender of something higher than myself (therefore a knight?)...

and by the way, it just amazes me that a few days ago, "a friend of a friend" actually called me again "princess", just in passing while on Queenstown MRT. ;-) perhaps he doesnt even recall this actually.

- today is 26 Oct 09

Sa Pa Terraces

misty clouds
across emerald greens
whistling pearls
flow generously
nurturing, calming
then fruits...

it will be.

creeping
longing
in me
some pinch
some beat

reminds me
takes me
there
with you...

in my yearning
not to leave
in taking
a loving glance
of your face, your hair, your smile, your color

i felt a pinch
is it a cry? a longing?
have i found something?

well... in fact
i left my sunglasses

days passed
nights run
gold and silver alternate
but i am captive
of you

Batanes...

how can one fathom
such beauty
oh no, but such a word
do not suffice

one step greeted
rolling verdant hills
whisper the ocean's ebb
ceaseless
unknown depth, at once inviting
then distant, unknown

skies embrace wind
in rhapsody
upon horizon show
waves kissing
the cliff's waiting stones

alas! one soul is lucky
privileged just in here
such a world...
priceless


to the master behind such mystery, majesty that is Batanes... cheers!

conversations: indigo child and the principessa

...even you were together with us you were always alone.
...there was always something that we can't enter.

i know all these about you but there was a mouth that never talked ... in your head. a mouth that is locked.

that's all there was, a great light in your eyes but a broken mirror at the same time which makes light less shine.

life is so poetic we need to know how to listen.

sometimes i think im a photographer or a video camera. that i was created just to observe and enjoy the moment in a distance. its strange ... and its lonely out there.

there is no place in the world for secret rooms. open them and let them go. freedom is for people and in this life not in another.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

- The character "Rose Walker" in The Sandman #65

flowing pearls
high up
fallin from
nowhere

gushing strong
windy current
misty and cold

mystery befalls
misery washed
gazillion ripples

only a spec
cosmos within cosmos...

sometimes you have to just forget the rules, follow your heart and see where it takes you. never apologize for saying what you feel because that's like saying sorry for being real.

never regret anything you said or did because at some point, it was what you wanted. true strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else is expecting you to fall apart.

if you dont go after what you want, you'll never have it.

if you don't ask, the answer is always no.

if you don't step forward, your always in the same place.

take risks for life goes on...

Today is Women's Day and perhaps its good to enumerate some of the things that women (in their hearts) always wish for...

1. to be herself
2. to be a good daughter
3. to be a good mother
4. to be respected
5. to be heard
6. to be free
7. to teach
8. to learn
9. to travel
10. to discover
11. to be productive
12. to be creative
13. to help
14. to share and exchange
15. to laugh/cry with her girlfriends
16. to play naughty and relax with her "guy friends"
15. to express her opinion
17. to be appreciated/accepted
18. to find her (life's) purpose
19. to find her "partner"
20. to find her soul and spirit

So what do you want?

Cheers to the WOMEN OF THE WORLD who make life exciting and beautiful!

if the sun shines in your soul, does it matter if it rains outside? happiness within always overlooks the sadness that any event may bring.



above isnt mine... but i own it - turtle princess

time is like a river. you cant step on the same water twice because the flow that has passed will never pass you again. cherish every moment of your life.

we are what we repeatedly do. excellence then is not an act but a habit. its not all about being the best; it is getting used to giving the best.

Dear Mr. Santagata:

Perhaps the only thing that we should remember when we lose is that nothing is really permanent in this world and that everything around us are gifts that we can only temporarily hold. But we can always choose to love and appreciate them permanently.

We really don't know how to send you a message of consolation at this time. But please know that we understand your feelings and we wish for you courage of the heart.

We are sure that you have enough memories of your daughter to hold on to and where she is, she is at peace now. We pray to the spirits that this shall be.

windows opened

and there you smiled

and laughed

talked, itched and laughed

you're sunny, funny, bright

then came the mist

though windows opened

it can't see

because the vision

everything is from memory...

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch.
And look! My last, or next-to-last,
of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love)
I shan't have lied.

It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (*Write* it!) like disaster.

--Elizabeth Bishop

i carry your heart

i carry your heart with me (i carry it inmy heart)
i am never without it (anywherei go you go, my dear;
and whatever is doneby only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

e.e. cummings

bus ride

just like the old days
a thousand year past

nostalgia
familiar
surreal

- balagtas, bulacan

shooting stars came
one by one
each shining bright
though each stained inside.

so all came and stayed
a constellation formed
marvelous, fabulous
sheer joy, a sight to behold.

though time and space
of formation is rare
its splendid in exchange
and everytime anticipated.

when is next shooting of stars?