By the window looking
The skies refresh, leaves
Cool, warm feeling
Rain pours, crying
But this site releasing
Gives rest to an otherwise
Heart beating... thumping...


- while reading, C.J. Koh Library, LKYSPP, Singapore

Sometimes I cant move my feet it seems
As if Im stuck in the ground somehow like a tree
As if I cant even breathe
Oh, and my screams come whispering out

As if nobody can even see me
Like a ghost, sometimes
I cant see myself
Sometimes, then again, oh

If I were a king
If I had everything
If I had you and I could give you your dreams

If I were giant-sized, on top of it all
Then tell me what in the world would I sing for
If I had it all

Sometimes I feel lost
As I pull you out like strings of memories
Wish I could weave them into you
Then I could figure the whole damn puzzle out
Then again, oh
And if I were a king

If I had everything
If I had you and I could give you your dreams
If I were giant-sized, on top of it all
Then tell me what in the world would I go on for

If I had it all
I could take anything
If I had no greed to bring
Only the poison thats tainting the clean
Oh, then nothing

Remembering times much younger than me now
When my breath was light
When the world raised me up kind
And here mother comforts child
Every moment was waking up
But now Ive grown tired... out

If I had it all, you know
Id fuck it up
If I were a king
If I had everything
If I had you and I could give you your dreams

If I were giant-sized, on top of it all
Then tell me what in the world would I sing for...
If I were a king
If I had everything, piece by piece
If I had you if I could give you your dreams
If I were giant-sized, on top of it all
Then tell me what in the world would I go on for
If I had it allIf I had it all
If I had it all


- always
Habibi shares to me
beautiful photos (like the amazon river)
beautiful songs (like this one of Dave Matthews)
haunting poems (just like the old ones)

“When you know [the Universal Language of the World], it’s easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.”

–Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

And I said -

Out there is someone...
Who will find you and just discover you...

Worried for the Wrong Reasons...

Flooded with cites
Worries for 1000 words
Worries for an A

But do you worry
Worry that I know you less
Worry that I know just your name
Name which is not you...

More than the cites and the 1000 words...
I worry I know just your name.


For Helen...

From Coffee

(while discussing about how well we could have known each other if it were not for the papers and the assignments...)

welfare states? prof. ashish gave us a little lecture about the welfare states (tax systems). interesting

Annakshmi...

Write up in Lonely Planet:
Annalakshmi – Far and away one of the best Indian eateries in Singapore, vegetarian and otherwise., this is actually a charity institution, where the home-style food and superb range of Indian drinks is served up by volunteers. When you have had your fill, you just pay whatever you feel its worth, with all the proceeds going to various charities. Giving $10 is fair. Any less is not doing the food – and the institution – justice.

on gender and dance... at Power House

my coach told me about gaymen in netherlands... like its an ordinary thing...

my friend started to dance in a weird way... like a gay (you can imagine). perhaps he was drunk or just trying to catch attention... but i didnt like it... i told him...

CHINATOWN... a glimpse of Singapore spirit

I have been in Singapore a little more than two months now. Busy with school and settling in woes – learning the bus routes and finding the shops for food and stuff - I never managed to catch “that spirit” which I always try to find in a city or a place for the first time. This spirit is often derived by going to the places where the locals are – old districts, markets, popular parks or simply put, places where you can see people letting their hair down - where people are more, often than not, in their unguarded moments.

The fact that I stay just opposite PSA Wharves Gate 3 with busy trucks 24/7, I somehow only know the Singapore as the world sees it today – efficiency, prosperity, trade, tidy city, etc. And I also know that Singaporeans are real hardworking people.

T’was fortunate that one afternoon, a friend reminded me that we should check out Chinatown Heritage Centre (in Chinatown) together. Come to think of it, just two days before the end of the school break, I finally found “that spirit” I was looking for. Actually, I could say rather, I felt that Singapore spirit right there in Chinatown.


flaming lanterns
rows scattered shops and goodies
busy food stalls and restos
running red shirts
old houses in wooden floors
hidden cries of the past
outside the windows
prosperity, vigor, color
history, future, stark contrast


Walking through the dim-lighted corridors of the three-storey shop house, I was transported back in time when Chinese migrants came to Singapore first to seek refuge, then survival and then eventually settle for good. I rephrase a quote from a Chinese of that generation posted on the wall of the museum - ” First we just needed to earn something to earn and send money... then we stayed on to earn more... then more... until going home to China ceased to be an option...”

It was a story of human struggle and survival - pulsating, vibrant, disarmingly colorful and sometimes dark. Migrants disembarking from boats all the way from China, the market places and kopitiam, the cramped shop houses (literally about 2 x 3 meters) where people live and work, the alleys of gamblers, prostitutes, opium smokers and dens, festivities and ceremonies both for the dead and living, etc.

These stories were made more vivid by the interactive exhibits, display, interviews and simulations carefully put together into one impactful presentation. I can almost imagine how it must have been much a soulful journey for the curator who has put these pieces of human stories together. It must have been a challenge yet ironically serves as its own reward. Visiting the Centre gave me the opportunity to experience even a fraction of the same.

As I peek through the pillars of the old windows, I see the busy chaos of the Chinatown area. With its rows and rows of goods from clothes, electronics, food and what not, I observe. The colorful buildings may not have the same double function as the old shop houses, but they are there standing as witnesses to generations of Chinese communities. (The shops, by the way, are more spacious now). But Chinatown of today has the same vibrancy and color, forty years after the first migrants arrived.

Chinatown has that spirit – a pulsating character fashioned by the people inhabiting it. They may be the second or third generation Chinese Singaporeans whom I can say I understand now partially, because of this one Saturday afternoon in Chinatown.

(I didn’t bring my camera that Saturday... photos here courtesy of Kanlapat...)

INFJ

initial questions: is this me? what should be the benefit for me?

been attending the Coaching Class for about few weeks now...

question: why do beautiful girls go with these ugly, fat guys?

answer: for love or money? more so for money...

question: what is the thing that you dont have which will make your life complete?

answer: unknown (difficult to answer)

question: what do you want to eat in Chinatown?

answer: thai food!

question: how do you divide a cake?

answer: equally and get the last piece. make sure its equal, be fair to yourself! (Chimi's Dad)

a day in CHINATOWN

flaming lanterns
rows scattered shops and goodies
busy food stalls and restos
running red shirts
old houses in wooden floors
hidden cries of the past
outside the windows
prosperity, vigour, color
stark contrast

wellness is so fragile, as life is fragile dear, so enjoy every minute - turtle habibi

Banyan Condo, 04-03

Clarke quay, Boat Quay, Cuba Libre, China One, Ministry of Music, Insomiac (Chijmes), Marina Mandarin, New Asia Bar, Alleybar

Harbourfront, Raffles Place, Citi Hall, Dhouby Gaut, Outram Park, Clementi, Jurong East, Orchard, Newton, Lavender, Bugis

Vivo City, POSB, Starhub, Hawkers, Village City, Cold Storage, Giant-Vivomart, Chinatown, Little India, Mustafa

BTC - OTH, MM, Computer Lab, Student Co-op, Study Rooms, CJ Koh, Cafeteria, Chicken Teriyaki Pao, Cafe takeaway

KRC - PGP, CAS, Computer Centre, MPSH, Yusouf Hall, etc...

yoshi the chef?

why not?

http://www.treecafe.com.tw/en/b2.htm

i just have to try the recipe of this man... met him via CS. and though he spent only a few days in Manila, i can say he is truly an interesting guy...

asked me a few questions like...

for a country that speaks English that much... why Philippines stay undeveloped? are the people receiving enough incentives to work hard?

had some interesting statements such as...

i only met successful people here in Manila

the TRAVEL and LIVING show on the cable channel only shows the nice things about traveling... (which i think is quite right)



i remember walking the streets of Malate for the first time (with him) looking for the FRIENDLY's hostel and a place to have some food (and drinks) just to end up in Saguijos. twas also the first time for me to sit and people watch at the Liwasang Bonifacio...

he has been travelling for quite some time and i truly felt the wisdom of this man.... as he said he worked hard in America to afford the tickets coz its his "education".

i think its refreshing to have met him really... read on his note...


I will be going to a changed home in about three weeks. I will still know and recognize people on the streets, they miss me and I miss them. The little changes will be a killer, I believe the trend of the new polished looking businesses that offer a half assed service (food, show, etc.) has continued, and I would love to be proven wrong. My generation has grown older and does not do the things I used to do any more. And I have changed. I do not talk or walk in the same way I used to. It will all go well because I do not have a different country to call home and never will unless there will be a very extreme circumstance (I know of a guy who married a Malaysian wife, and Israel did not let her in. Now he lives in Taiwan). And I will make good out of it.

they say people falling in line for a ride in amusement parks are crazy. they wait several hours just to experience a 5 minute ride. but actually, they are not. coz they dont mind waiting. they look for happiness though they know that it takes time.

i think life should be a balance between choices/decisions and "que sera, que sera". the best part is knowing that we did our best in anything - in love, in work, in life... that we did our best although it may not be the "best, best".

after that, we let fate and destiny take its course. i mean sure... we will wish and pray for our desires and hopes but we know that we cannot have all the A cards for ourselves.

you start where you end...

ending where you have started...

visions unfold one by one

episodes in mind

- macau, 13 June 2007

i was young, very very young.

but i liked you

i was optimistic. you have bigger heart

i had a lonely and big heart

thought mine is bigger than anyone.

yes, this is true until now. how very strange that nothing has changed after a few years

i had so many time frustrated big this big heart, so closed it. i am about MAN in broad sense. doesnt' matter girl or boy. not easy to have big heart _ _ _ _ _

what is your definition of a big heart? how is your heart now?

may i say what the definition of BIG HEART by others?

BIG HEART means, you are weak... emotional, close to kinds one... you are not acocuntable... you are talking a lot about your secrets you trust others as the last stupid one, after you will have problem from your trust

you are open to everyone but when they look at your heart they never washing their hands before. after BIG HEARTED one staring not to trust, not to love, not to open him/herself. they are not clean with their intention when talking/treating you.or they are not as open, as trusty as nice as ... you.

BIG HEARTED one is easy cake. but this is in short distance, marathon

In long term BIG HEARTED one is more "practical/pragmatic", hence they know that life is marathon big not sprinter distance

at the end of the life i will think that i trusted+helped+supported+understand+shared" many ones issue. i will go back home with smile.

how about one who always were opposite the BIG HEARTED one? Do they able to bring back home every thing or emotions and memories only? for me the richness is now memory, 1000000000 people I will met in my life and their smile.

(you are talking so complex things but which i believe are very true)

okey beauty... you are constant in everything, so you are not "fake" emotioned one. you are also trusted one here

Why do you refuse the term “happiness”?

That’s because I think that happiness is not a value. I think it’s like a Sunday afternoon – something finally quite boring. What I want in my life is adventure, taking risks, confronting myself with obstacles and feeling alive. -Paulo Coelho

read it yesterday... could it be true?

fatos, come to think of it... i was able to meet a real princes in my lifetime...

i met the niece of the Sultan of Jogyakarta, Indonesia when i was there about a week ago. she even assisted me when it was time for shopping for some souvenirs.

nothing... i just remembered you again. you have always called me princess... and if being a princess means being modest, humble and giving like Princess Inung... then i accept it.

selamat datang... Indonesia

sambal (spicy sauce)

the tileroofs

packets of green in the city

ayam goreng (friend chicken)

gurame goreng (fried gurame)

gado-gado (vegetables in peanut sauce)

durian ice cream (ask PS how it tastes)

Borobudur man

Prambanan

Malioboro

Taman Sari

Sultan's Palace

Inung, the Sultan's niece

Sate Senayan

Sari Kuring...

SMKN 27 (and the English teacher from Paraguay)

PKBM 35

Anggun

Sultan Hotel (former Hilton)